Star Trek: The Next Generation - S02E05 - Loud as a Whisper
Preexisting Prejudices
Since Where Silence Has Lease wasn't the episode with a deaf guy hanging out on the Enterprise for some reason, I'm assuming that this one is that episode. I don't remember anything about it though other than the fact that Data learns sign language in it at one point and it (the episode in question not Data's study of sign language) is not particularly good.
Plot Synopsis
As is more often than not the case we begin our cold open with Picard dropping a Captain's Log, informing us of the plot hook for today's episode. This week's hook? The Enterprise has to pick up a mediator and transport them to a planet in the midst of "a bitter planetary conflict," at the request of the warring factions on that planet. The Enterprise is only supposed to transport the mediator and not otherwise interfere in whatever is about to go down.
After telling Wesley Crusher to reduce the ship's speed, Riker With Beard goes into Picard's office and finds him looking at some hologram of a solar system. Picard's all like, "Check this shit out Riker With Beard. I've been thinkin' about this planet's orbit since we left the Lima Sierra system. Its orbit shouldn't be possible but what if..."
"There's no degeneration." finishes Riker With Beard.
"EXACTLY!" replies Picard.
Riker With Beard wants to know why but Picard exclaims that he hasn't a clue. They talk a bit more about it and how if the model is correct it could "explain what happened in that system," but neither Riker With Beard or Picard explain what exactly that is and none of this shit seems to play any part in the episode that follows so huzzah for randomly wasting a couple minutes on completely bullshit!
Anyway, Riker With Beard tells Picard that they've arrived and Picard's like "Oh well time to leave." He and Riker With Beard then go down to the teleportation chamber. Riker With Beard is worried about Picard leading an away team to go pick up a peer mediator and Picard mocks him and calls him a mother hen and says that he's looking forward to meeting the mediator since he's allegedly one of the best.
Picard says that if the mediator can put an end to all the carnage on that warring system they should do everything in their power to assist him. Riker With Beard, however, reminds him that it's not his job "to police the galaxy." Picard's like, "Hey, I'm usually the one who is like Prime Directive forbids us from helping people when plot requires us to be dicks...but you're right, we should totally be dicks and not help a mediator bring peace to two warring factions who want peace."
In the teleportation chamber Troi asks Worf if he's detected any problems on the planet. He says that he has not so Troi asks him why he's all amped up internally since he only gets that way prior to combat. Worf says he does not expect battle so Troi asks him what is bother him.
Worf tells her that he is bothered by Riva, the master mediator, and then explains, "Before him there was no Klingon word for peacemaker." Riker With Beard is like, "I get why you're nervous as fuck then!" but Picard's like, "Dudes this is just a simple ceremonial greeting, nothing more! Let's go!" Like Picard's opening bit with the orbit of the planet, Worf's unease with the mediator never is mentioned again in the episode and plays no part in anything that transpires.
They arrive in a random-ass room somewhere on a planet, but seem to be all alone. I don't know if this is supposed to be suspenseful or something but we then get our good, good opening theme song so I guess it was.
After that good, good opening theme song, we check back in with the away team in the weird sound-stage palace or whatever. Some dude that looks like the dude from that Shogun mini-series from the 1980s shows up and gets all up in the various away team members' grills but doesn't say shit. Eventually the dude goes up onto his throne and a woman and two men dressed in white robes come out onto the stage.
They welcome the away team to their random-ass planet and explain that Riva is deaf and they serve as his interpreters with each of them speaking for him and expressing a different aspect of emotional intent.
Riva uses one of the dude interpreters to mack it to Troi for a bit before Picard says that there's a lot of shit about Riva that they didn't know. After the interpreters explain to Picard how they work Picard tells one of them that it's remarkable which pisses Riva off. He tells Picard to, "SPEAK DIRECTLY TO ME!"
Picard tells him that he's never dealt with a dude who has three telepathic interpreters to speak for him and did not mean any offense by the breech of protocol. This is enough of an apology for Riva who tells him that no offense has been taken then. Picard asks "how this rare form of communication came about."
Riva explains via his interpreters that "the gene for hearing is not present" in his planet's ruling line. He continues by explaining it's not that weird since "the House of Hanover of your planet Earth," all were hemophiliacs. Good to know this character comes from a long line of inbreeding.
Riva continues by explaining that his interpreters are his "Chorus" and how they are able to hear his thoughts and that their ancestors have been interpreting for his ancestors going back centuries. Troi tells him that his form of communication is "quite beautiful."
"It takes a fine mind to realize that, Counselor Troi," replies the horny translator. Maybe we're going to get some fucking in this boring-ass episode after all.
Troi tells him that the horny part of him doesn't speak very often and Riva's like, "It's speaks when I wanna bone and fuck alive do I wanna bone right now!"
Picard, however, is like, "The situation on war planet is dire we should probably delay your fuck-mission with my crew member and go do some peer mediation or whatever the fuck we are doing here." They then beam up onto the Enterprise.
On the bridge, O'Brien phones Riker With Beard and informs him that the away team has returned. Riker With Beard tells Wesley to haul ass to planet Warzone or whatever the shit the planet is called that they are supposed to be bringing Riva to.
Picard shows up on the bridge with Riva and his Chorus and introduces his crew to them. He comments on the uniqueness of Data and then talks at length with Geordi about his blindness and V.I.S.O.R. Riva asks him if he resents being blind or having to use V.I.S.O.R. Geordi tells him that "since they're both part of me, and I really like who I am, there's no reason for me to resent either one."
Riva tells him that, "It's a blessing to understand we are special, each in his own way."
Picard offers him the hospitality of his vessel and offers to show him to his quarters. Riva asks if Troi could take him there. Troi agrees and Riva heads up with only his horny interpreter. Riker With Beard is like, "What about you?" and the woman interpreter tells him that "At times like this we become an encumbrance." She then asks if she and the brainy guy interpreter can be shown to their quarters. Picard tells her that Worf will show her to them and as Worf talks them off, Riker With Beard tells Picard that Riva is not what he expected.
Later in Riva's quarters the man macks it to Troi and asks her to dinner after the briefing that Picard has prepared about the peer mediation that needs to be done. Troi asks him if his horny interpreter would be with them. He tells her that at least until they find their own method of communication.
Sometime later in the conference room, Picard, Riker With Beard and Data prepare to deliver their briefing about Planet Warzone, but Riva's like, "Eh fuck that noise. It doesn't matter why they were fighting originally after some time it became all the knew, but now they want peace so what changed?"
No one knows what changed but Riker With Beard says that the warring parties' desire for peace will make Riva's job easier. Riva tells him not necessarily easier but at least possible. He then tells everyone how he's never failed at brokering peace. He then says that unless there's anything else he has a dinner date to prepare for.
Later in Riva's quarters he and Troi are sharing a meal while the horny interpreter lurks in the background. Riva spits mad game at her laying the groundwork for a trip to the bone zone. He and Troi start doing sign language to communicate with each other but they get interrupted by bridge summoning Riva to join them there.
The Enterprise had arrived at Planet Warzone and found the ceasefire between the two warring factions had fallen apart. Riva arrives and talks to the two groups of battlin' aliens and tells them that their "bravery as fighters is know," and then encourages them to "demonstrate courage in a new way," and stop fighting so the meeting can take place.
Worf tells the crew that the lasers flying on the planet have ceased.
Riva then asks for a topographical map to pick a site for the peer mediation to go down. Riker With Beard tells Worf to get a security force together, but Riva tells him that he would "prefer to arrive with the smallest possible complement," so as not to add to an "already tense situation."
They then look at a map on a computer and Riva picks a site and as we head to commercials Riva declares, "THE TIME FOR KILLING HAS COME TO AN END!"
Back from commercials Riker With Beard, Worf, Riva, and his Chorus beam down to Warzone the Planet. As they stand on a windy hilltop Riva tells Riker With Beard that he will need some torches and a three sided table. Riker With Beard calls Geordi and tells him what they need, but before Geordi can beam the shit down, the warring factions arrive.
Riva tells them to be at ease and that coming to peer mediation "proves not only your courage, but your wisdom." He starts to tell them that he has no magic, but before he can finish that thought one of the aliens pulls out a laser gun and aims at Riva.
Riker With Beard knocks Riva out of the way, but the entire Chorus gets turned into SKELETONS!!! The other warring aliens yells some junk at the assassin and laser the shit out of him as Riker With Beard yells from the Enterprise to beam them up. As they beam away one of the aliens is like, "NOOOOOOOOOOO! RIVA!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!! WE NEED YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!"
Back on the Enterprise, Riva is gesticulating wildly at Troi and Data as Picard enters. Riker With Beard tells Picard what happened as Riva continues to gesticulate at him. Picard asks Troi what he's saying but he's moving his hands too quickly. Picard asks if he can write some shit and tells Riva he's sorry his "friends were killed," and that he doesn't know what he is trying to tell him.
Picard tells Data to go learn "some kind of gestural language," and then tells Troi to take Riva to see Doctor Grandma to see if she can help. He then grabs Riva's dome and shakes him while screaming, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER NOW!" Picard being a huge dick once again...
Back from break, Data is learning sign language. We then check in with Picard in his office. Troi and Doctor Grandma knock and come in. Troi tells Picard that Riva's frightened and confused. Doctor Grandma then tells him that Riva's brain can't receive auditory information and therefore none of the prosthetics or surgical techniques available to her would help him.
Troi says that there's nothing else either of them can do since it's up to Riva "and he's stopped cooperating."
Data then comes in and tells Picard that he has learned five different forms of sign language. He demonstrates in an annoying fashion until Picard tells him "ENOUGH! Let's talk to Riva!"
Later in the conference room, Picard talks to Riva, using Data as an interpreter. Riva explains that the death of his Chorus is his fault and that they are dead because of his arrogance. He says that they were not only his interpreters but also his friend and before they died he didn't realize how much a part of him they were.
Picard tells him that the factions of Warzone the Planet have contacted them and want to renew negotiations but Riva refuses to do so. Troi tells him that he has a chance to make some good come out of the tragedy, but Riva says someone else will have to do it.
Picard tells him that Data can help him communicate. Riva says that Data is a "fine machine" but when he speaks for him he can't convey his anguish or despair. He says that it took years to develop a communication with his Chorus and that is one "that cannot be easily replaced." He then asks to be taken back home.
Picard tells him that it is regrettable because "a lot more people are going to die."
Meanwhile in the sickbay, Geordi is getting his eyes check out by Doctor Grandma. She tells him that she could install optical device that looked like normal eyes and would give him a visual range close to V.I.S.O.R. Geordi asks her how much of a reduction it would be.
She tells him about twenty percent and then tells him that she could attempt to regenerate his optic nerve and "with the help of the replicator, fashion normal eyes." Wait, so the replicator can make human body parts? So why couldn't they use it to make a body for Moriarty in that shitty Sherlock Holmes episode?
She tells him that it would eliminate the constant pain he's in (that was only mentioned that one time in the season one episode, Encounter at Farpoint) and wants to know why he's hesitating. He tells her that he'd be giving up a lot and then she's like, "Also there are some risks and there are no guarantees it will even work right..."
Geordi thanks her and tells her that he'll consider it.
Meanwhile in Riva's quarters, Troi and Data show up to speak to Riva. Troi tells him that Picard is going to take him home, but first she is going to attempt to broker a peace between the two factions on Warzone the Planet. She asks for some pointers but he tells her that all he did was to find some bit of common ground between the two groups and get one person or group to express themselves to the other.
Troi tells him that is very difficult and he tells her that it is but what is more difficult is getting them to listen to each other and to understand. Troi tells him it is going to be very hard for her and he tells her that she is good with people. She says that her skill is different which leads to Riva telling her that the secret is "turning disadvantage to advantage."
Troi asks him why he can't do that. Riva tells her that her idea is interesting since "it would give them something in common." Data doesn't understand but then Riva kisses Troi and thanks Data and Data seems to comprehend. Troi tells him that he will have Picard contact the planet and tell them to prepare for his return.
Some time later, Riva beams down to the planet again this time with Worf, Riker With Beard, Data, and Troi. Geordi beams down the table and torches that had been asked for earlier. Riva has Data tell the other that they are free to leave since it might be some time before the two warring factions arrive.
Riker With Beard doesn't understand how he is going to communicate with them without the Chorus. Troi tells him that Riva's going to teach them sign language and Data adds that learning sign language will be part of their road to peace.
Riker With Beard is uncomfortable to leave Riva there alone but Riva insists that he will be fine and then thanks Troi for everything. The Enterprise crew then beams back leaving a smug looking Riva standing on a hilltop with a three sided table.
Meanwhile back in Picard's office, Picard is once again looking at that weird planetary orbit when there's a knock on his door. Troi comes in and says, "You wanted to see me?" Picard tells her that he knows that she can read his mind but wanted to verbally tell her, "Thank you. Well done." And that's the end of the episode...
How Rikered Was Riker With Beard?
I'm kind of confused about Riker With Beard's relationship status. He watched Riva put the mack moves on Troi when they were all on the bridge but did not seem bothered at all by it which was not the case when that Wyatt cat showed up to marry her. He also lost his shit when she got knocked up by a weird space light but when a deaf dude with a horny interpreter is all up in her business? Riker With Beard was cool as a cucumber. My prognosis? Drunk as fuck!
Final Thoughts
This episode wasn't as bad as I remembered it being. That's not to say it was good or anything, but as far as a random episode that one might see in syndication while making dinner you could do a lot worse than this one. It had some low level horniess, SKELETONS, weird space orcs, and a VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE so overall I guess it was pretty good. Also kudos to the casting director for casting Howie Seago to play Riva. Dude is legit deaf so Star Trek: The Next Generation was maybe a bit ahead of the curve when it came to representation. If I had one complaint about this episode it would be that there was not any fucking which is kind of the sole thing I'm looking for with this rewatch.
Fuck Count
Though Riva put forth a pretty valiant effort to get it on with Troi he ultimately put the needs of others ahead of his own horniness. While it's certainly a commendable trait for an actual human being to posses, this is the Star Trek Fuck Report where the only thing that ACTUALLY matters is whether or not you got it on and since Riva never managed to seal the deal this episode ends up with a big fat zero in the Fuck Count ledger.
Total Fucks for Episode: 0
Total Fucks for Season: 6 (+1~3)
Total Fucks for Series: 12 (+1~3)
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