Star Trek: The Next Generation - S03E05 - The Bonding

 

It has been quite some time since last I went down to my laboratory and applied the scientific method to an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation in my quixotic quest to determine exactly which Star Trek: The Next Generation character fucked with the greatest frequency over the course of the show's existence. I've got no real reason why I stopped doing this vital research beyond the fact that my leisure time is frankly pretty limited and when something else catches my fancy I often have to discard some other hobby to make time for it but I've decided to once more commence my scientific studies for the good of all humanity. We will pick back up where I left off, with the fifth episode of the show's third season, The Bonding, which first aired on October 23, 1989.

Pre-Existing Prejudices

When I saw the title I assumed it was some sort of euphamism for fucking and thought we were going to get another point of Star Trek boning data but after reading the little Netflix episode summary it became clear that this was not the case as it's the episode where some kid's mom dies and Worf feels guilty about it and tries to be buddies with the kid. I vaguely recall it and do not remember it being particularly inspired.

Plot Synopsis

The episode begins, as so many of these episodes do, with the bridge crew fretting and talking to an away team that's off camera doing things that would be visually more exciting but infinitely more expensive than shooting something on the bridge set would be. This time it's Worf leading a team of archeologists to explore a planet that was once inhabited by a race of aliens known as the Koinians or some such nonsense. As Worf and his team play Indiana Jones off camera Data explains that the Koinians ended up destroying themselves during a multi-generational war and the planet is now uninhabited.

Troi suddenly freaks the fuck out and tells Picard to beam them up. A second later Worf uses his space phone to call for an immediate emergency beam up and tells them that there are severe injuries. Picard has O'Brien beam them directly to the sick bay and a moment later a bloodied Worf and several equally messed up archeologists appear before Dr. Beverly Crusher.

She kneels down to reveal a really fucked up woman lying at Worf's feet. Dr. Beverly Crusher checks for vital signs but finds none and declares the woman to be dead on arrival. Talk about a cold open! 

After that good, good opening theme song we get Picard drops a Captain's log in which he says that the Enterprise is orbiting the planet while they investigate what the shit went down leading to the death of the "ship's archeologist" Lt. Maria Aster.

Picard then goes down to the sickbay to rap with Worf about what happened on the planet. Worf explains that the away team had scanned the tunnel for weapons and traps but did not detect any but as they moved down the tunnel an explosive device detonated without warning and Lt. Aster bore the brunt of the explosion.

Troi then enters and informs Picard that Lt. Aster is survived by a son named Jeremy who is 12 years old and aboard the Enterprise. Picard asks if the boy has a father but Troi tells him that Jeremy's dad is also deceased. The boy's only living relatives are an aunt and uncle residing on Earth. Picard and Troi then leave to go break the news to Jeremy. Worf offers to go as he was the one leading the away team that got Jeremy's mother killed but Picard tells he appreciates Worf's offer but it's his responsibility as Captain.

Out in the hallway Picard calls Riker With Beard and tells him to send Geordi and another away team down to the planet to figure out what exactly happened. He then tells Riker With Beard that he will be with Troi and Jeremy Aster and hangs up his space phone.

Meanwhile on the bridge, Wesley Crusher, having just heard Picard and Riker With Beard's phone conversation, says that Picard had to do the same thing for him when his father died on a mission. Riker With Beard asks Wesley if he knows Jeremy well. Wesley says that he does not but knows what this is going to be like for him.

Riker says that death is a part of life in Starfleet. Wesley says that he knows and that Starfleet is careful to prepare them for anything but it's still hard. Wesley asks Riker With Beard how you get used to telling kids that their parents died having space adventures.

"You hope you never do," replies Riker With Beard.

Elsewhere on the Enterprise Worf extinguishes a candle with the blade of a dagger in silence.

Meanwhile in a TURBOLIFT Troi says that she can sense the weight of the duty he is about to undertake on Picard. Picard stops the TURBOLIFT to rant about how he's always thought it was stupid to take small children on starships.

"Serving on a starship means accepting certain risks, certain dangers," he says, "Did Jeremy Aster make that choice?"

Troi tells Picard that death and loss are a part of life everywhere and that leaving Jeremy on Earth wouldn't have protected him from that reality. Picard says that she's right but Earth isn't likely to be sent into the Neutral Zone or go up against Romulan warships. He says that ultimately it was his command that ended up costing Lt. Aster her life and while she understood the risks attached to her mission but wonders if Jeremy Aster will.

Troi tells him that he will in time and with help and then brings up Wesley Crusher. This all seems to satisfy Picard who has TURBOLIFT resume its journey down a tube or whatever.

Some moments later Picard and Troi meet with Jeremy and HOLY SHIT IT'S HOB FROM ROBOCOP 2! Anyway Picard tells Jeremy that there was an accident and his mother has died. Jeremy asks how his mother died so Picard tells him of the explosion and that she died instantly. Jeremy doesn't seem particularly distraught by this. Picard says that he was told that Jeremy's father was also dead. Jeremy confirms that that is true and then opines that he is all alone now.

Picard tells him, "Jeremy, on the starship Enterprise, no one is alone. No one," and then awkwardly puts his hand on Jeremy's I guess to show compassion or something but man alive does he look super uncomfortable doing it.

Back from break we find Riker With Beard knocking a few back at Ten Forward when Data appears and asks him how well he knew Lt. Aster. Riker With Beard tells him that they'd spent a little time together but didn't know her very well. He then asks Data how well he knew Lt. Aster.

"Why do you ask?" Data replies.

Riker With Beard tells him that Data just asked him the same question but Data wants to know why people in general ask that question when someone has died. He says that several people asked him how well he knew Aster and Riker With Beard asked Wesley Crusher how well he knew Lt. Aster's son Jeremy.

"Does the question of familiarity have some bearing on death?" asks Data.

Riker With Beard asks Data if he remembers how everyone felt when Tasha Yar died. Data does and confesses that he doesn't feel the same sort of absence that he does when he thinks about Lt. Yar but doesn't know why. Riker With Beard says that it's just human nature to feel a loss more intensely when it's someone we know and love.

Data doesn't understand this and asks if feelings shouldn't "run as deep regardless of who has died." Riker With Beard tells him that maybe they should because if people did think that way human history would have been far less bloody.

At that moment, Geordi calls Riker With Beard to inform him that he's back from the planet and that he's "brought back a souvenir."

Later in Picard's Ready Room, Geordi shows off some weird device and says that there were five more of them all identical to the one that killed Lt. Aster. Data says that the devices "employ a subspace proximity detonator" and that they would have been impossible to detect with a normal tricorder. Picard asks Data how old they are and Data says that they appear to be from the time of the Koinian Wars.

Riker With Beard asks Geordi if his away team found all of them and Geordi says that they did but that "it seemed like they were left there to be found."

Picard wants to know who they would have been left by as there were no indications of any life on the planet. Geordi says that he doesn't know but the devices had all obviously been pulled out of the ground and defused very recently.

Elsewhere Troi goes to talk to Worf who tells her that he already gave his report to the Captain. Troi tells him that she cares more about how he feels about what happened and that she senses great anger. Worf tells her that he's pissed because he cannot seek revenge against an enemy who's turned to dust centuries ago. Her death was senseless. The last victim of a forgotten war."

He tells her that he's got nothing else to say but Tori tells him that someone died under his command and it might happen again in the future. She says that he needs to learn how to deal with the guilt and anger and talk about it. Worf thinks this is bullshit and tells her, "A leader must stand alone as Captain Picard does."

Troi tells Worf that Picard talks to her so Worf decides to seek her counsel with regards to his plan to undertake the Bonding with Jeremy Aster. She tells him that it is generous but as Jeremy is not a Klingon he might not understand. Worf rebutes by saying that he is an orphan and Jeremy is an orphan so he will understand.

Troi, however, is of the mind that there's not much Jeremy can understand right now and that kids who lose parents often feel like they must remain true to the memory of a lost parent and will reject people who show them affection too soon since they feel guilty about return that affection and betraying the love of their dead parent.

Worf tells her that he only wants to honor Jeremy's mother. Troi tells him that she understands but that he also needs to understand that Jeremy is very angry and may lash out at him but she encourages Worf to talk to him but take it slowly. When Jeremy is ready they will know.

Meanwhile in Jeremy's Quarters, the boy is watching home movies on his iPad. He's playing around with a cat named Patches and then he and his off camera dad bother Lt. Aster who jokingly threatens to ground his camera lens into shards if they don't leave her alone.

There's a knock at Jeremy's door and he opens it. Worf is standing there. He introduces himself and asks if he can come in. Jeremy is like, "You were in command of the away team," and Worf tells him that he was and he was with Jeremy's mother when she died.

Jermey recognizes that Worf is a Klingon and tells him that they studied about Klingons in school. Worf wants to know what he learned and Jeremy is like, "You used to be our enemies." Worf wants to know if they taught small children that all Klingons want to die in the line of duty like Jeremy's mother did which seems like a pretty weird thing to say to a kid who just lost their parents. He goes on to say that in the Klingon tradition they do not grieve the loss of the body but rather celebrate the release of the spirit.

Jeremy tells him that he understands death and that they were taught all about it at school. Worf says that he might understand it but he must also bring meaning to his mother's death and hopes that they can do it together.

Meanwhile Troi visits Picard in his Ready Room. Picard asks her how Jeremy's doing and she tells him that Jeremy is being very brave. This is no good. Troi wants him to express his anger so he can really say goodbye to his mother. She tells Picard that she's asked Dr. Beverly Crusher to have Wesley Crusher talk to Jeremy and then mentions Worf's plan to do the Bonding with Jeremy. Picard thinks it might be good but Troi doesn't think Jeremy's ready to accept Worf yet. Riker With Beard then calls Picard to tell him that there's some wacky energy shit coming off the planet.

Picard goes out to the bridge to check on this weird energy shit. It's emanating from a place two kilometers north of where the away team beamed down. Troi tells Picard that she's sensing a presence on the planet but can't make out whether or not it's a lifeform because of all the bad vibes on the ship. Picard has Data scan the planet and put the results up on the big space TV on the bridge. Data does and we see some green lasers beaming off the planet.

Meanwhile in Dr. Beverly Crusher's office, Wesley Crusher shows up to visit his mom. She tells him that Troi asked her to ask him if he would talk to Jeremy Aster. Wesley doesn't understand what he could talk to him about so Dr. Beverly Crusher reminds Wesley that he also had a parent die during a Starfleet mission.

She tells him that when his dad died Wesley she and Wesley at least had each other but Jeremy is alone and might be more comfortable talking to someone closer in age to him than he is talking to a grown-ass person. Wesley tells her that he'll think about talking with Jeremy. He then asks her if she ever thinks about Dad.

She tells him that she does and Wesley says that sometimes he can't even remember what his dad looked like and it scares him. Dr. Beverly Crusher tells her that sort of thing happens to everyone and then admits that for her sometimes the opposite happens to her and all she can think about is his face.

Wesley then confesses that after what happened earlier, he can "see it all as clearly as if it were yesterday." He tells his mom that he remembers the way his dad hugged him goodbye and Captain Picard's eyes when he came to deliver the bad news. Both Crushers look to be on the verge of tears.

Back on the bridge Data continues to analyze the green lasers coming off the planet but there is nothing matching it in any of the Federation's records. Picard asks him if it could be alive and Data replies that it's possible. Geordi then calls and tells Picard that he is detecting some weird shit coming from the anti-matter containment pods. Troi is in shock.

Meanwhile back in Jeremy's quarters the small boy is still watching home movies on his iPad when his mother appears in the room much to his surprise.

Back on the bridge Geordi says that everything is functioning normally but there are still unexplained fluctuations in the containment field. Riker With Beard asks if it could be related to the energy fields on the planet. Data tells him that there is a beam coming from the planet but he cannot pinpoint the location.

Troi then chimes in that she is sensing a presence on the Enterprise. Data says that none of the sensors have detected an intruder but Troi is insistent that there is a presence. Riker With Beard has all decks go to yellow alert.

Back in Jeremy's quarters Jeremy's mom explains that "there was a mistake" when Jermey tells her that everyone said she was dead. She tells him that he needs a hug and at first he is reluctant but eventually does hug the mom-type thing in his room. She then tells Jeremy that they have to get ready to leave for the planet since that's where they're going to live from now on. She tells him that they'll have a home just like they did back on Earth.

At that moment Worf shows up and is like "What the fuck..." when he sees whatever it is that's posing as Jeremy's mom. She tells Worf not to worry and that she's here to help Jeremy. Worf is not cool with any of this and phones Picard to tell him that Lt. Aster is seemingly back from the dead.

Picard tells Worf not to provoke her or interfere until he arrives. Picard then has Riker With Beard summon security before heading off with Troi to deal with another wacky space adventure.

Back in Jeremy's quarters Lt. Aster tells Worf that she's taking Jeremy down to the planet and the two of them then leave. Worf informs the Captain as he trails them to a teleportation chamber.

Lt. Aster and Jeremy get onto the teleporter just as Troi and Picard arrive. Picard wants to know who or what Lt. Aster is but both Jeremy and Lt. Aster insist that she is exactly who she claims to be. Picard asks her what she wants and Lt. Aster tells Picard that she's going to take Jeremy down to the planet. Picard tells her that he cannot permit that since Jeremy is his responsibility on account of her actually being dead.

She says that Jeremy needs her and asks Picard why he resists. He replies that he doesn't know who or what she is. Again Jeremy's like, "She's my mom duh!" and again Picard is like, "It might look like your mom but that's not your mom."Lt. Aster tells Picard that she's confusing Jeremy. Worf then grabs him and Lt. Aster suddenly vanishes. A distraught Jeremy starts yelling for his mom before realizing she's gone.

Back from break (and out in the hallway) Jeremy demands to know what they did to his mom. Troi tells him that they don't know who or what that was but it was not her mother. Jeremy tells Troi that he touched his mom and she was real but Troi asks him why his mother would want to take him down to the planet when there's nothing there but dust and rocks.

She then takes Jeremy back to his quarters but when they arrive there they find that it's the same as the Earth home that we'd previously seen in Jeremy's home videos on his iPad, right down to Patches the cat. His mom is there too and she tells him that it's exactly the same as his house on Earth. Jeremy asks her how she did it but she tells him it doesn't matter.

Troi, however, thinks that it does matter. Lt. Aster says she doesn't understand why they are all so against her taking Jeremy down to the planet so she made this house to show them what would be awaiting Jeremy down on the planet. Troi asks why she would create a fantasy world and Lt. Aster says that it makes Jeremy happy. Troi is all like, "But it's not real," so Lt. Aster asks Jeremy to pick up the cat and tell her if it's really Patches or not.

Jeremy picks up the cat and is 100% sure that it is the real Patches and more than that Patches recognizes and loves him. This confirms everything for Jeremy who now insists that ALL of it is real.

Troi is like, "Dude! Could your real mother just make cats materialize out of nothingness? You can't stay here. Come with me," but Jeremy is like, "Sorry mang but I gotta go."

Troi phones Picard and explains that Lt. Aster doesn't seem to understand why they don't want her to take Jeremy and that whatever it is, it only seems to want to make Jeremy happy.  Picard asks if it would be wise to take Jeremy out of his cabin but Troi says that he doesn't want to leave and taking him by force would not be good. Picard tells Troi to stay with them in Jeremy's quarters and they would try to figure something out from the bridge.

On the bridge Picard asks Data to figure out whether or not the green lasers from the planet are the cause of the fake Lt. Aster. Data tells him that the beam is tapping into the ship's anti-matter and Geordi opines that they're using the Enterprise's own energy to power the fake Lt. Aster.

Picard wonders if there would be a way to shut it down. Geordi says that he could reconfigure the shields in such a way as to sever the beam. Picard tells him to do it and a moment later down in Jeremy's quarters his fake mom, Patches the 100% real cat, and Jeremy's Earth house all vanish once again.

"No..." says a bummed out Jeremy.

Back on the bridge everyone is all like, "And that's the end of that chapter..." but suddenly a big-ass green laser starts blasting out of the planet. Picard tells Wesley Crusher to get them the hell out of Dodge but before he can the laser blast hits the Enterprise.

Down in the teleportation chamber an energy blob flies at O'Brien who phones the bridge to alert them of the alien intruder. The energy blob flies at some random security guards. knocking them on their ass, and once again Jeremy's quarters are transformed into his Earth house.

Jeremy's fake mom tells him to come with her saying, "We will not let them separate us again. We're going home."

Picard heads down to Jeremy's quarters while Geordi orders Engineering to shut down all the teleporters since the energy blob version of Jeremy's mom will need them to take Jeremy off the ship. Picard also has the bridge seal off a bunch of halls.

Picard encounters Jeremy and his mother in a hallway and has the bridge lower a forcefield. He asks Jeremy if he's scared and Jeremy confesses that he is a little bit scared. Picard tells him that strange things are afoot at the Circle K so it's totally normal to be afraid but he promises he won't let anyone harm him. Picard then asks Troi to take Jeremy to his quarters but the fake Jeremy mom is furious about this.

Meanwhile in Engineering the blue energy blob is looking over all the computers and shit. Geordi tells Riker With Beard that he thinks it's trying to figure out how to turn the teleporters back on. He hopes that the blob doesn't accidentally blow them all to smithereens as it figures out how to flick a power switch back on.

It succeeds but Geordi then shuts things back down. I think this is supposed to be dramatic but it just comes across as very silly with a blob trying to turn a thing on and then Geordi immediately turning it back off.

Meanwhile in Jeremy's quarters the fake Lt. Aster tells Picard that it's only a matter of time "before we can power the transporters ourselves." Picard asks her who she means by "we," and she explains that there were two species that lived on the planet, one of energy and one of matter. She explains that the beings of matter, the Koinians Data mentioned in the cold open, did indeed fight a never ending series of wars that wound up destroying them all and after that the energy being vowed to never allow the matter beings to cause any further suffering and that's why she's here.

Picard tells her that he appreciates the motives of the energy beings but Jeremy's mother is dead and must learn to live with that reality. The fake Lt. Aster tells him that she will be every bit Jeremy's mother, but Picard again reiterates that she will not actually be his mother though. He then calls Worf and tells him to bring Wesley Crusher down to Jermey's quarters.

The fake Lt. Aster says that she doesn't understand the philosophy of humans, She wants to know what is noble about sorrow and says that she can provide Jeremy with a life free of pain or anguish. Picard tells her that experiencing both pain and joy is what makes all of them human.

Fake Lt. Aster still doesn't get it though and says that Jeremy is all alone in the world and would surely be happier down on the planet with her and Picard admits that for a brief moment he would as would anyone in Jeremy's situation. Troi then asks about what Jeremy would do for friends on their planet and whether the fake Lt. Aster would take care of his education, health, career and wife. 

Picard smuggly declares, "Yes, it's quite an undertaking you're proposing, isn't it?" but the fake Lt. Aster still insists that it is their duty to make Jeremy happy.

Picard asks if they believe Jeremy would truly be happy in a completely fictional version of reality and what reason he would have to live in such a situation. Picard again explains that the death of loved ones is something that all humans have to deal with and coming to terms with those deaths is part of our cycle of life because all humans have a finite time in the universe and learning to come to terms with that is something all of us must do.

At this moment Worf and Wesley Crusher arrive. Picard tells Jeremy that Wesley's dad also died on a Starfleet mission. Troi tells Wesley that Dr. Beverly Crusher told her that Wesley seemed uncomfortable with the notion of talking to Jeremy and then asks him why that is.

Wesley says that he didn't want to think about his dad dying anymore but all this reminded him so much of that day. Picard tells him that Wesley took it very well that day and Wesley says that he'd been taught that Starfleet missions could be dangerous so he knew what could happen.

"So you were prepared?" asks Picard.

"No! I wasn't prepared at all. How could anyone be prepared to hear that a parent is never coming home again? I tried to be what everybody expected of me. Brave and mature," replies Wesley.

Picard asks Wesley what he was actually feeling on that day since it was clear that he was trying to conceal his true emotions. Wesley tells him that it felt like someone had kicked him in the head. Picard asks if there was someone in particular and Wesley tells him that he was angry at Captain Picard. Picard asks why he was angry with him. Was it because he was the one that told him his father was dead?

Wesley tells him it was because Picard was the one who had led the mission. He came back home alive and his father didn't. Wesley confesses that he was angry at Captain Picard for a long time but no longer is...."Not even a little."

Troi tells Jeremy that he must be very angry at Lt. Worf since he was in charge of his mother's mission just like Captain Picard was in command when Wesley's father died. She then adds that Worf came back but his mother didn't. Now I'm not a child psychologist or anything I'm just the child of one but this seems like some really really shitty counseling on Troi's part. Like this seems really leading even if she is an empath or whatever. Like as far as her powers have been demonstrated up to this point she can get a read on what people are feeling but not their actual thoughts or whatever. Like how in the fuck does she know that he's mad at Worf for living and not just mad at the concept of archology or some shit? 

But I digress because she is 100% correct and Jeremy goes off on Worf for not dying. He asks Worf why it had to be his mother who died. Troi tells Wesley that neither Worf nor any of them for that matter could answer that. Picard then tells Jeremy that Worf also lost his parents as a child.

Worf says that his parents died in battle when he was six and he was alone but humans helped him. He asks Jeremy to let him help him the same way. He tells Jeremy that the Lt. Aster he knew and honored is not in the room with them nor is she down on the planet waiting for Jeremy he is only in their hearts now. Worf then invites him to become part of his family in the Bonding and they will become brothers for all time.

The fake Lt. Aster seems satisfied by all this and vanishes along with the Earth house and the 100% real cat Patches 

Later Worf and Jeremy light some thick as fuck candles. Worf gives Jeremy a sash and explains that they have now bonded and their families are now stronger and that's the episode.

How Rikered Was Riker With Beard?

Riker With Beard is shown knocking back drinks at a bar while on the job in this episode so we don't need to speculate based on context clues if he was secretly hammered or not during this episode or not there is canonical evidence that he was.

Final Thoughts

Man there sure were a lot more episodes where "Energy Beings" do random bullshit to various crew members in these early seasons than I recalled. As an episode it was okay I guess though there were a couple things that bugged me about it namely the fact that Worf and Data both had to be dumb about things they already experienced and would understand and more over that the episode referenced the incidents that would have given them the knowledge needed to not be dumb about the things they were being dumb about so it wasn't even a case of people writing for the show assuming no one would remember bits of lore from one non-serialized episode to the next and that not being the case.

Like why wouldn't Data understand people being more upset about people they were close to dying then they were when people they didn't know that well dying. A mess of people have canonically died in his presence and he was most bummed out when Yar died. Like he already should understand that concept since he lived through it.

Similarly I don't understand why Troi has to explain to Worf that Jeremy might not be keen on the Bonding since he's a human. Worf literally spent the vast majority of his life living with and around humans. There are multiple episodes where Klingons mock him for not understanding Klingon shit decently enough. I don't like it when for plot reasons he has to be completely ignorant about "human ways" when the dude spent his entire life living with humans and playing soccer and shit. I don't have a problem with him being interested or knowledgeable about his Klingon heritage since that tracks with real world transracial adoption in a lot of cases but he shouldn't be completely unaware of how humans think and feel about things.

Fuck Count

We're five episodes deep into season 3 and not a single person has fucked yet. Hopefully shit picks up soon.

Total Fucks for Episode: 0
Total Fucks for Season: 0
Total Fucks for Series: 16 (+1~3)