The Star Trek Fuck Report

I had kind of decided after the last entry into the Star Trek Fuck Report to go on a hiatus but then a global pandemic popped off and I realized that if I were to stop researching into the oh so critical field of Star Trek Fuckology the terrorists would win and so I carry on despite a string of awful, awful episodes both in terms of being a television program that is enjoyable to watch and as data points in order to determine which character fucked the most. Today we're looking at the season 2 episode "Q Who?" Preexisting Prejudices Here's another episode I remember the main thrust of pretty well and unless there's some B or C plot I'm totally blanking on, there's absolutely no boning in this episode. That being said, it's a pretty good episode and marks the debut of the Borg so get ready to be assimilated or whatever. Let's do it! Plot Synopsis We start things off in Engineering where some 80s babe is ordering hot chocolate from a food ma...

I must confess that as of late I've taken little joy in watching this stupid program since the episodes I've gotten have been rather uniformly terrible even without my serious scientific study. It's just a bunch of bad episodes of a television show. To be most forth right I have been considering going on hiatus with the Fuck Report and still may do so, but this episode was downloaded onto my phone so I'll at least look at this one last episode to get it off my phone before I go on break. So, let's get down to business...to defeat...the Huns. Did they send me daughters? When I asked for sons? You're the saddest bunch I ever met...but you can bet before we're through..Mister, I'll make a man out of you!!! Preexisting Prejudices I don't know anything about this episode, but the title is pretty stupid and leads me to believe that there will be no fucking. Plot Synopsis Picard begins the episode with a cold open Captain's Log, explain...

Today at the Star Trek Fuck Report we continue our deep dive into the second season of Star Trek: The Next Generation in our ongoing study into which crew member most frequently got it on. Today we are examining the 14th episode of season 2, The Icarus Factor, which first aired on April 24, 1989. Preexisting Prejudices I do not recall this episode at all so will instead spend this time complaining about how lengthy this fuck drought has been going on. I cannot recall when the last time there was any sort of fucking explicit or otherwise on an episode of this goddamn show and frankly the episode quality is generally so low that I often end up feeling like I'm wasting my time if we don't at least get a couple of crew members laying pipe to wash down a real mediocre episode of a 30 year old sci-fi TV show. Plot Synopsis The episode begins with a Captain's Log in which Picard explains that they are en route to some random-ass space base for consultations because their s...

Welcome back to the Star Trek Fuck Report, the world's most scientific study into the field of Star Trek fuckology. Today we continue our research into the second season of Star Trek: The Next Generation with the 13th episode of that particular season: Time Squared. The episode debuted on April 3, 1989 and is about some timeline fuckery, so be prepared to be annoyed. Preexisting Prejudices This is one of those episodes that for whatever reason I always used to see when I was watching back to back episodes at 5:00 and 6:00 on my local Fox affiliate when I was in high school. As I mentioned above there's some weird timeline fuckery (think Groundhog Day) and, if memory serves correctly absolutely no fucking. That being said, it's been probably close to 15 years since I last saw it so it's entirely possible that I could be wrong and it's an episode with wall to wall boning. Plot Synopsis  We kick things off with Riker With Beard whisking eggs in his lair. The d...