The Star Trek Fuck Report

Having just finished compiling my data on the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, for the Star Trek Fuck Report I thought it would behoove me to briefly pause and examine something tangential related to the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation that would otherwise fall outside of the auspices of this august publication. Today, dear readers, we are going to examine the first episode of the sixth season of Reading Rainbow, "The Bionic Bunny Show." For those of you who are somehow oblivious to this fact, Reading Rainbow, was a children's television program that aired on PBS from 1983 until 2006. It was hosted by your pal and mine, LeVar Burton (the man behind the visor on Star Trek: The Next Generation) and aimed to foster literacy and a love of reading among small children. I am quite well aware of the fact that I tend to come off as sarcastic in these writings but without any irony whatsoever Reading Rainbow was a fantastic show that I loved as a...

Well boys and girls we've finally come to the end of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Debuting on May 16, 1988, The Neutral Zone, would cap off the first uneven season of the show, but as an episode how did it fare? Was it a suitable sendoff or was it rife with a surprising amount of racism and/or sexism? And most importantly did anyone fuck in this episode? Preexisting Prejudices I vaguely remember this episode being about people from the 20th century appearing on the Enterprise with disastrous results though I cannot for the life of me recall how they got onto a spaceship in the 24th century. Time fuckery perhaps? Also unknown what any of that has to do with the Neutral Zone. Plot Synopsis Today's cold open begins with Riker dropping a First Officer's Log in place of the usual Captain's Log that begin these things. He tells us that Picard had been summoned to some Space Base for a meeting and the rest of them are just chillin' hard waiti...

Rewatching this first season of Star Trek, it's kind of incredible how many of the episodes I'd completely forgotten. That is not the case with today's Fuck Report entry, Conspiracy. I remember the shit out of this episode because it's weird as fuck, and one of the few season one episodes that's actually good. It's been a hot minute since I've actually seen it though so will it hold up and more importantly does it have any fucking? Preexisting Prejudices As mentioned above this is one of the few episodes out of season one that I think is any good. I might even go so far as to say it's in my top ten episodes of all time. Any prejudices I might hold about this episode are largely positive. Plot Synopsis Riker kicks things off by dropping a First Officer's Log, informing us that the Enterprise is en route to an ocean planet known as Pacifica to do some science shit, but mentions that the place is also a tropical paradise and everyone is looking...

Today as part of the Star Trek Fuck Report we will be examining the 24th episode of season one of Star Trek: The Next Generation, We'll Always Have Paris. If basic cable in the 1990s taught me anything it's that if a movie has Paris in the title there are probably tits in it. While I doubt that extends to syndicated sci-fi shows from the late 80s I'm hoping that there is at least some horniness and possible implied fucking in this episode. Preexisting Prejudices Another episode I do not remember at all. I've got hopes for this episode, but don't harbor any preexisting prejudices to speak of. Plot Synopsis The Enterprise is en route to Sarona VIII for shore leave. Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ how often do these people get vacation? It seems like every third episode is them going somewhere for some "much needed rest and relaxation" before getting waylaid by whatever the actual plot of the episode is. Anyway Picard, in the Captain's Log, informs ...

I'm honestly kind of amazed that this episode is as late in the season as it actually is. Probably due to the fact that I couldn't remember half of the shitty season one episodes that existed, I assumed that this episode was way earlier in the season rather than 3 or 4 episodes before the season finale. Today we're talking about the episode titled, Skin of Evil. Preexisting Prejudices Spoiler Alert for a Thirty Year Old TV Show: This is the episode where Tasha Yar dies. This is legit one of the few season one episodes I remember well. I don't think it's a good episode or anything, but it's certainly a lot more memorable than "Wesley Crusher Takes an Entrance Exam" or "Picard is a Dick to People Who Got Tricked into Becoming Drug Addicts." Besides Yar dying there's also the first really great evil alien of The Next Generation in the form of whatever that orang minyak looking motherfucker is called. All the other foes have either been...