The Star Trek Fuck Report

It's been a hot minute since I've conducted a scientific study into the horniness of Star Trek: The Next Generation and think it's time to rectify that situation. Today we're going to take a look at the second episode of the third season, "The Ensigns of Command," which first aired on October 2, 1989. So strap in , it's time to get buck wild...in space. Preexisting Prejudices I don't remember this episode based on the episode description Netflix's got going on so I don't have any strong feelings about this episode one way or another. Plot Synopsis We kick shit off in Ten Forward with O'Brien warming up on a cello while a Vulcan and some medical officer lady play violins. Data shows up also with a violin and goes over to Picard and Dr. Beverly Crusher, who are sitting at a nearby table. He tells them that they should probably come back for the second performance when Ensign Ortiz will be replacing him on the violin. He goes on to explain tha...

With the dire first and second seasons behind us and a brief detour to do some scholarly research into why those first couple seasons sucked so much ass, it's time to continue this extremely scientific study to determine which Star Trek character canonically fucked the most. Today we begin our exploration of the third season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, by taking a look at the season premiere, Evolution, which originally aired on September 25, 1989. Preexisting Prejudices The little plot synopsis Netflix gives is generic enough that I cannot immediately recall what episode this is about. I do know that it marks the return of Doctor Beverly Crusher so thank the gods for that. Though I came to hate Dr. Grandma less than I did the last time I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation prior to beginning the Fuck Report she is still a vastly inferior to Doctor Beverly Crusher and not just because I apparently have a thing for nerdy red-headed moms in cardigans. Plot Syn...

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: for all my claims of how scientific this study is I have done very little in the way of actual research into any of the things I'm writing about. Of course I'm watching the episodes in question but beyond that? I might look at Wikipedia or IMDB to get the date the episode aired or to check what I know a particular character actor who pops up as a guest star in a given episode from but other than that? Nothing. I mean I have random one off characters whose names I've just spelled out phonetically because I can't even be bothered to look up how they're actually spelled. That's the level of hard hitting research I'm willing to engage in. Occasionally I've come across little bits of trivia in the aforementioned Wikipedia articles or IMDB entries that are interesting that I've mentioned in my write-ups, but by and large I've never really gotten into the behind the scenes stuff about Star Trek: T...

With the second season of Star Trek: The Next Generation behind us we're going to take another look at a bit of ephemera that would have existed concurrently with the second episode, specifically the series finale of the television sitcom, Webster. For those of you unfamiliar with it Webster was "an American sitcom television series that aired on ABC from September 16, 1983 to May 8, 1987 and in first-run syndication from September 21, 1987 to March 10, 1989." [ 1 ] The show stared Emmanuel Lewis "as a young boy who, after losing his parents, is adopted by his NFL-pro godfather, portrayed by Alex Karras, and his new socialite wife, played by Susan Clark." A less generous and more succinct description of the show would be that it was a Diff'rent Strokes knockoff designed to cash-in on that show's success. Why am I talking about Webster today? Because oddly enough it crossed over with the Star Trek: The Next Generation in an episode titled Web...