The Star Trek Fuck Report

Welcome back to the Star Trek Fuck Report, the leading authority in Star Trek related sexual research. Today we continue our investigation into the amorous activities of the crew of the USS Enterprise by looking at the fourth episode of season two, The Outrageous Okona, which first aired on December 12, 1988. Preexisting Prejudices I think this is the one where Data tries to learn comedy from a holodeck rendering of a Borscht Belt comic which is a shitty plot but it feels more like a b-plot and whatever the main plot was it wasn't memorable enough for me to remember anything about it. Plot Synopsis Picard drops a Captain's Log informing us that they are traveling in some random-ass system "traversing between the twin planets that form the Coalition of Funky Cold Medina." The two planets were colonized by a humanoid race 200 years back and now coexist under a tenuous treaty. We check in with the bridge where Worf has detected an unidentified vessel. They sca...

Welcome back to the Star Trek Fuck Report, the only scientific study into the sexual habits of the crew of the USS Enterprise ever conducted! Today we continue our research into the show's reviled second season, specifically the third episode, Elementary, Dear Data. This is clearly going to be a shitty holodeck episode where people wear funny costumes. I can see why normal reviewers who want things like interesting episodes and memorable characters think this season is shit if three episodes in we're already getting a holodeck episode, but me? I'm here for the trips to the bone zone and even the worst episodes could have some intriguing fuck related data points, so let's get down to business! Preexisting Prejudices I don't know if there were a half dozen "Data as Sherlock Holmes" episodes or just one that they showed all the time when the show was being rerun so I'm not entirely sure if this episode is the episode I think it is, but whatever the ...

Welcome back to yet another installment of the Star Trek Fuck Report. Today we continue our exploration into Season Two with the second episode, Where Silence Has Lease. I don't know what the fuck that even means but I do know that this episode first aired November 28, 1988. Preexisting Prejudices All I know about this episode is that it is the source of that one GIF of that guy looking like he's had his dome blown. You know the one... ThatGuy.gif Other than that I've no idea what this episode is about or why this guy's lookin' like his dome's about to blow. Let's find out together! Plot Synopsis A worried(?) looking Captain Picard enters the bridge. Troi ascertains that he is nervous and asks if he is worried about Worf or Riker With Beard. Picard tells her he is worried about both of them and then says that it might be for the best to "be ignorant of certain elements of Klingon psyche." Smash cut to a random jungle somewhere. T...

Welcome back to the Star Trek Fuck Report, the only scientific study into the fuck habits of the crew of the USS Enterprise (specifically in the Next Generation). Today our studies begin anew as we dive into the second season of one of the great horny sci-fi TV shows of all time. Today we're examining the season premiere, "The Child" which first aired on November 21, 1988. Preexisting Prejudices I don't really remember this episode but I do know we get the first appearance of MOTHERFUCKIN' RIKER WITH BEARD! AWWWWWWWW YE YE!!! Plot Synopsis The episode begins with the show totally blowing their entire special effects budget in the cold open of the first episode. We get the Enterprise and another random-ass spaceship (apparently called the USS Repulse), some random shuttlecraft leaving a docking bay, all kinds of shit. As we learned in the Reading Rainbow episode I reviewed the other day, budgetary constraints in the later part of season one led to them buil...